A Work in Progress

Why do we care so much about what others think of us?  I am extremely guilty of comparing myself to others and worrying about others' opinions of me.  I think this is where a lot of my anxiety comes into play, and when I really sit and think about it, I realize how silly it all is.  

I am often described as shy, backward, an introvert, and I am sure some would say that I am "stuck up."  What most people don't know is that I am so quiet and don't like being in crowds or in front of people because I am constantly worrying about what others are thinking about me. I worry that I will say something "stupid" or that everyone will notice how red my face turns when I am put on the spot or made to talk in front of a crowd.  I am also a very emotional person, and I worry about crying and looking silly when I talk about things that matter most to me.  I wish I had more confidence and could communicate better with others.  I think this is one reason that I decided to start this blog.  I can communicate so much better through writing than through conversation.

I worry about what others think about how I look.  I worry that my clothes are not "in style" or that they aren't appropriate for a "mom" or a "teacher."  I see others in nice, dressy clothes and want to like wearing things like that but am just not comfortable when I do.  I worry that my clothes are too tight or too short or too baggy...I could really go on and on. I hate to wear makeup, but I often do because everyone else does!  I worry that I am too skinny or that my belly is getting flabby again.  I don't need to impress anyone.  As long as I am comfortable with what I am in or how I look, then that is really all that matters, right?  I tell myself this, but it's still hard. 

When I post on Facebook or Instagram about my Young Living, I worry that others think I am being too pushy or that I am annoying people.  I worry that others think I am wasting my time and will not be successful in the business.  I worry that people think it's all a scam and how could I fall for "another pyramid scheme."  When I stop and think about my "why" for working this business, then I realize that none of those doubts should matter.  I am doing this to help others and because I enjoy teaching people about things I am passionate about. I am earning extra money for my family by doing something from home so that I don't have to get another job on top of my teaching career.  I am helping us pay off debt, go on vacations, pay for our girls to dance.  These are the things I need to keep in mind when I start to get discouraged or worried about what others are saying about me.  

My family has had some tough decisions to make recently, and when these circumstances occur, I often find myself worrying about what others will say or think instead of what is really best for me or my family.  I worry that I will be seen as selfish.  However, I have to remind myself that I need to take care of me too. You cannot pour from an empty cup!  I think this is one of the hardest things for me to realize and make myself accept.  

I want to share some things that I have tried that help me when I start to feel overwhelmed.  I have started reading inspiration/motivational books.  One that I read earlier this summer was Girl, Wash Your Face.  I highly recommend it!  I also find it helpful to post motivational quotes or affirmations where I can see them as reminders.  I am trying to take more time for me and doing things that I enjoy, such as reading, watching movies, and getting a massage.  This helps me recharge my batteries and get back on track when I need it.  I also rely on my essential oils for anxiety and relaxation and have found several that help a lot!  

I have been thinking a lot about these things lately, and I think God is putting it on my heart for several reasons. First and foremost, He is the only one whose judgment I should really care about, and as long as I am doing right by Him, that is all that really matters.  I also feel that I was being nudged to write this blog to hopefully help others who might be in similar situations.  I think it helps us all to know we are not the only ones with these feelings and insecurities.  Lastly, I want to do it for my girls.  I don't want them having the same self-esteem and confidence issues that I have.  I want them to be comfortable in their skin and to not worry about what others think about them. In order for this to happen, I know that I need to set a better example for them, and I intend to start doing just that!